Rape or Consensual?

Rape or Consensual? 

Everyone is asking the question if Kahol Drogo and Daenery’s wedding night was supposed to be written as a rape or consentual scence. 

Rape is not okay. And it is not a joke. 

I believe that the creators of the show made the right decision in making it a rape scence because Daenerys was sold to Kahol Drogo and did not want to marry him so why would she consent to having sex the first night really meeting him. 

A problem is that the book made that scene more consensual than the actual show did. For example, in the book they describe how Daenerys undid Kahol Drogo’s long braid and how that is a very intimate thing to do within their culture. But in the show it showed Danny crying and Khal Drogo consistently told her “no.” Danny began to get aggravated and it showed him bending her over and it was obvious that she did not want to have sex with him. 

I don’t think that the creators of the show should have done anything differently because there wasn’t a way to make her okay with having sex with him. 

I found an article that states, “The rape she's referencing occurred during her relationship with Khal Drogo. After he died, their love story was hailed as a great romance, but it's important to remember that its origins couldn't be more opposite. Daenerys was deposited into this marriage to secure an alliance, and was raped nightly by the Khal long before they ever learned the same language or developed any kind of friendship. Just because they were married doesn't mean their sex was consensual, and just because they eventually fell in love doesn't negate the trauma she endured at the start.” (Lindsey, 2017). 

I incorporated this into my blog post because in the show Daenerys talked about her being raped without actually stating it to Jon Snow. I believe that Daenery is a very strong character who built a life for herself even after Khal Drogo’s death. 

Another post is, “Daenerys' rape is something you could argue the writers had glossed over up until this point, so this reference is an unfortunate reminder of just how much she had to go through in her rise to the throne. Luckily, she's made it clear she's no longer standing for any bullshit, so Jon Snow — and everyone else — should take note.” (Lindsey, 2017). 

I incorporated this quote as well because she grew into a female character that people can respect and want to be like. This scene impacted the evolution between Daenerys and Khal Drogo because they turned into real lovers and a friendship/love was developed. She learned to speak his language and understand her role as his queen. Their relationship did not start out in a normal or healthy way but it did turn into a real relationship, I believe. 

"At the heart of it, we’re telling a story; you need that part of the story to feel empathy for Daenerys. You see her attacked by her brother, raped by her husband, and then going, 'Fuck all of you, I’m gonna rule the world.' That’s where we are now." (Stolworthy, 2016). 

Daenerys turned into a ruler of the Khalasar and like that statement says she stopped taking bullshit from people. 

"I thought the consensual sex she has thereafter was genius. She is physically saying, 'You can’t rape me again. I’m going to be in control and show you something you’ve never seen before.'” (Stolworthy, 2016). 

It may have started as rape but she turned it around around to where she had the power. She was taught how to have sex and how to show him the way she wanted to have sex. They conceived a child together, who would have taken over the Khalasar. Even though she may have lost her child she still ruled and made them her own. 

“This was the first sexual encounter in Game of Thrones which could be described as romantic - but is it really? Is this Daenerys sharing an intimate moment with her man or realising taking control in the bedroom is the only way she can assert some level of power? After this incident, and after Daenerys falls pregnant with Drogo’s child, the attitudes of both the Dothraki and her husband seem to soften towards her.” (Laud, 2019). 

Their relationship clearly started as nonconsual but did it turn into consensual? 

Yes, it did. 

But could they have had a better relationship if it started out “normal”? 

Rape is not okay. It is not okay in any way. But in this situation they turned into a normal relationship between two rulers. 

Khal Drogo learned to love her and respect her. He stood up for her and her honor and she learned how to be his queen.

Reference:

Refinery29.com. (2020). Daenerys' Speech In Last Night's "Game Of Thrones" Finally Addressed Her Controversial Marriage. [online] Available at: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/07/165887/game-of-thrones-daenerys-khal-drogo-rape [Accessed 11 Feb. 2020].

Laud, G. (2020). Daenerys Targaryen and Khal Drogo relationship: Inside the problematic romance. [online] Express.co.uk. Available at: https://www.express.co.uk/showbiz/tv-radio/1112441/danerys-targaryen-khal-drogo-relationship-game-of-thrones-season-8-violence-rape [Accessed 11 Feb. 2020].

 The Independent. (2020). Emilia Clarke reveals why that Daenerys rape scene mattered to her story. [online] Available at: https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/game-of-thrones-season-6-emilia-clarke-revals-why-that-genius-daenerys-rape-scene-matters-to-the-a6970611.html [Accessed 11 Feb. 2020].