Loving the Most Hated Player in Game of Thrones

Loving the Most Hated Player in Game of Thrones

            Among the rapers, Kingslayers, murderers, and-worst of all-Joffrey in George R. R. Martin’s A Game of Thrones, Sansa Stark is rated as one of the most hated characters in the series as a whole. Now I will give the haters some credit. She did basically betray her family by not telling the full truth in order to stay on her betrothed’s good side (although that didn’t seem to matter much) and many fans of the show throw hatred at her from this point on. But here, Sansa is dealt awful cards: her father is headless, her betrothed chops heads for a living, and she can’t control anything that is going on in her own life. She is essentially stuck in this circle full of Lannister’s and somehow, someway needs to gain some leverage.

            In Season 1, Sansa is portrayed as a self-absorbed teenager with a little sister, Arya, who is her polar opposite. While Sansa enjoys needlework, dresses, and dreaming about happily-ever-afters, Arya is a rebellious fighter who isn’t afraid to speak her mind. The two get into it several times as they are bickering sisters who can’t seem to find a common ground if their lives depended on it. Keeping all of this mind, Arya plays a pivotal role on why we view Sansa the way that we do. George R.R. Martin creates a foil between both Arya and Sansa and basically makes it to where we can’t have one without the other. Since they are such complete opposites, this creates a lot of contrast between them too. Simplistically, the world wouldn’t hate Sansa as much if they didn’t have Arya to compare her to. Kristen Iverson adds in that one of the reasons we dislike Sansa unlike all of the other characters is because we are Sansa. Many of us rely on and strongly believe in the way that we were raised and the majority of us aren’t going against almost literally everyone like Arya and most definitely aren’t the Mother of Dragons like Daenerys. Many fans lost respect for her when she betrayed Arya early on which resulted in Lady’s death. Although this might not have seemed smart to some of us, she is also human and makes mistakes just like us. You have to cut her some slack because it’s not like we aren’t stupid from time to time too. She still supports her father and goes against the Lannister’s and who she thought was the love of her life, despite him being arrested and eventually killed. The poor girl has seen better days and doesn’t have the ability to just run away from her problems (especially since her biggest one just so happens to basically rule the world at the moment). I think Jillian Stacia says it best when she explains that “Sansa started off stupid (like most of us), had to learn the hard way (like most of us), got the shit kicked out of her by life (like most of us), and is learning how to act like a strong woman that reflects her own unique femininity and values (like most us)”.

We are drawn to characters that find themselves outside of the status quo and pushing the boundaries of society. Many fans even love Arya because of her “strong female character” persona and the fact that we see a girl dancing with swords instead of men. S.E. Smith speaks to the controversy saying that there is more than one way to give someone that “strong female character” label. Strength can be found in the way that Sansa doesn’t need to fight her battles with a sword, but instead uses wordplay and cleverness to even give Joffrey a taste of his own medicine. She is continuously getting smarter and wiser as she keeps on being sent to hell and back several times over.

Sansa pushes the boundaries in her own ways to use her strong femininity to her advantage which tests the way that our society perceives women. People seem to look down upon women who exemplify feministic qualities instead of embracing and celebrating them. We like watching Arya swordfight instead of seeing Sansa create beautiful embroideries. It’s not a bad thing to see women in on the action, especially in a male-dominated world, but Sansa shouldn’t be punished just because she isn’t one of those types of girls. She is alone in this combat-heavy world with no one in her corner. She has to look out for herself and find her own way of earning some respect amongst the strongest in Westeros. In times when she is essentially kept prisoner, she learns how to play to her feminine strengths in order to survive, protect her family, and get a little of what she wants. She can’t just behead whoever she pleases to solve her problems, but instead must stand up for herself and negotiate her way through harsh situations, very similarly to women today.

When you think about it, the society of Westeros is much different than the society that we currently reside in. People in modern day aren’t typically using treason, incest, a massive wall to solve their problems and maintain power. So the way that Sansa views the world is already going to be vastly different than the way that you or I do. Granted, her view is different than those such as Arya, but I wouldn’t say that a traditional lifestyle is very atypical for someone who was birthed to a family of immense power. Sansa falls back to what she believes is safe since that is what she was taught as a child, but of course, as we all know, nothing is safe in A Game of Thrones. She might be a slow-learner, but she is currently finding out ways of taking advantage of her femininity instead of shying away from it.

As she begins to grow stronger and stronger, some fans still believe that she is either overstepping her boundaries as a female character or is still the same, winey child that she was at the beginning. Sansa is currently working to find that balance between being assertive enough to gain respect while also not becoming overbearing to those around her. She is also learning that maybe it is okay to not please everyone around you, because it seems that in this world, that is impossible. Sadie Gennis brings up the controversial issue that “when you follow the path society lays out for you, you're seen as weak and inferior. But when you act like ‘one of the boys,’ you face punishment for breaking the norm”. This is something that women today face every single god damn day. Women try to find the perfect balance of what society deems as acceptable for us, especially when pertaining to feminine characteristics. Even today, women are expected to take care of the children, the household, look pretty, and provide men with whatever they so please. So then my question is, if our society paints this picture of what women are supposed to do, then why do we still hate on Sansa who portrays these feministic values? With Arya, she is defying the gender-typical roles, yet we also still shame her for not being this way and attempting to change her name and cut her hair so that she will be accepted. Women are looking for that perfect answer that will probably never come, so Sansa is sticking with being the child that every parent wants and defending those she loves using the ways in which she was raised. Even some of the characteristics that we admire in Catelyn Stark (her kindness, beauty, and honor) are passed on to Sansa, but looked down upon by society. I personally don’t really understand it, so maybe society just doesn’t like her red hair.

You don’t have to be a tom-boy to be a strong woman. You don’t have to face your enemies with a sword in hand. You don’t have to change yourself to succeed. It’s okay to be a dreamer, a non-fighter, and to stick to what you know. It’s okay to be emotional. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to be feminine. It’s okay to be a badass woman in a world full of men. It’s okay to be like Sansa because majority of us already are.

And that’s the tea.