Marriage Does Not Make Rape Okay

 Caiti Mickles

I come from a very opinionated, Christian family; this means that no one in my family thinks that rape could ever be okay. I agree with this statement as long as the rape actually happened. Sometimes a person gets their heart broken and wrongly accuses another person of raping them. I have been around cases of rape and molestation so I know how it can affect a person. When someone is raped, they are completely powerless, and they are overwhelmed with fear. There is nothing they can do to keep that person from having their way with them.

I can remember when I was twelve years old and my cousin came home crying her eyes out because her boyfriend took advantage of her, but then two weeks later when he was back over at the house she said she was just upset the night she told us. So, was she lying? Or did she just let him talk his way back into her heart? Ive seen rape in movies and tv shows since I was little. Watching the guy push the woman into a wall or corner while she says no until he forces his lips on hers and her no's slowly fade away. Is that rape? I mean I guess it could be considered rape. The woman says no in the beginning but once he starts to kiss her, she does not say no anymore. What about when the guy tells the girl that if she does not do it with him, he is leaving and never coming back? I honestly can tell you that I do not know. I can tell you that when I was a first-year student in high school and I had to beg the senior boy to get off of me in the middle of a field, knowing that if he had not stopped I would have been raped. He was scared what I would tell people after, but some boys are not like that. Some boys do not care what the girls has to say, they will just tell everyone she was begging for it. Rape is something that people just brush off in today's time. I remember my first year of college a girl claimed that she was raped and there was a meeting scheduled and nothing else ever happened.

In the book, it makes Daenerys’s and Khal Drago’s wedding night better than in the show. Khal Drogo actually respected Daenerys’s body in the book, but in the show, he did not care at all if she wanted to have sex or not. She was crying and pleading for him to not do it, and he did not care. He bent her over on the ground and raped her. The next sex scene they have is seen of him taking her from behind, this scene sets up the end where she takes charge and climbs on top of him. She is forced to take charge in the bedroom to keep herself from being raped. No woman should have to be in charge and initiate everything to keep themselves from being raped. It is completely sickening. Eventually in the show Daenerys falls in love with Khal Drogo but this does not justify him raping her. The rape still happened in the beginning, and if he can do it once he can do it twice. She was through so much pain the first tie they had sex and it probably haunts her every time they have sex. If Khal Drogo would have waited and slowed down maybe they would have fallen in love first and then the rape would have never happened.

In this article it says that is they do not think that men can completely understand how a woman feels with the fear and powerlessness that comes along with a rape. I can imagine this is what Daenerys was feeling while this took place. Being a thirteen-year-old trapped inside a marriage by your brother sounds absolutely terrifying. The powerlessness that she felt throughout the sex is unimaginable. She impresses me with her strength when she takes charge the second time and does not allow Khal Drogo to just completely take advantage of her. She had to power through her own fear to take over and not allow him to rape her a second time. Even Emilia Clarke, the actress that plays the role of Daenerys, said that she struggled in filming the wedding night scene. She said it was a profoundly serious matter and she had to put herself in others shoes to portray it so well. Even the actress who just acted out the rape scene struggled to be able to play the part. That is how serious rape can be on the victim.

It was estimated that 734,630 people were raped in the year 2018. It is said that around one out of five people are raped in their everyday lives, whether it be their significant other, a family member, or just a random person. This is something that I did not know before doing the research. I went through a small episode of molestation when I was younger, but I cannot imagine what it would be like to go through life after being raped. How would you look at yourself in the mirror the same? Rape does not just last through the entirety of the sex; it lasts the rest of your life. Rape is not just a physical thing; it is mental and emotional as well. So many women have killed themselves after being raped. They cannot just continue un their own lives like nothing ever happened. A person's emotions are completely changed after being raped. You will never be able to fully trust another human being. How could you after someone did that to you? Rape is taking advantage of a person without consent. That means breaking every ounce of trust that a person has for you. How could it be so easy to do that to a person? Despite what many people think, rape does not only happen to women. Women can rape men as well. It is not shown in the news or talked about as much as women, but it still happens to men as well. I remember as a child my mother and grandmother talking about our male neighbor who had killed himself after a “bad lady touched him.” I never understood at a child what they meant. It took years for me to finally understand what they were talking about.

Last year one of my friends was raped. She met a man online and when he came to meet her, he took her into the woods and raped her. He made sure to take her where no one else could hear her scream. After the fact, she went to the police and tried to explain to them when happened, but apparently the man had used a fake name and the police could not find him. My friend has not been the same since. She left her university and transferred to a community college closer to home. She has not spoken to any of our other friends about the matter and she only brings it up to me when she has an episode. She has nightmares and she cries herself to sleep sometimes. That is something that will stay with her forever, as well as me. It has made me look at things at a completely unfamiliar perspective. No matter how well you think you know someone, they could turn on you at any moment and take advantage of you.

Rape is such a serious matter in the world, and it is starting to be overlooked; whether that be because of false claims or other things it is not being handled like it used to. Women who falsely claim being raped are causing other women in the world who were actually raped to not get the justice that they deserve for themselves. The trauma from being raped can never be taken away but having the person who raped you get what they rightfully deserve could help a person deal with it a little better. Knowing that the person that raped you is put in jail might help you sleep better at night. Having to live knowing that the person who raped you is still walking around the streets is terrifying. There is no justifying rape, but anything helps.