(Khal) Drogo... How About Drog 'no'! You Still Need Consent!

 

By now everyone has seen Game of Thrones, wanted to watch the series, or possibly has that one friend/acquaintance who discusses nothing but the series. More often than not it is the last option that makes you throw your head back, roll your eyes, and annoyingly watch some crazy part of the show that is not really discussed it is just something that everyone looks at as um what actually just happened there? You possibly can go through all of that to get roped into watching this wonderfully raunchy but at most times unpredictable show. There are moments captured within this show that can definitely leave the viewer feeling possibly uncomfortable or wondering why this is depicted in the way it was.

A question I have definitely had to ask myself is are they showing this because they are wanting the viewers to be uncomfortable and to turn away or are, we trying to start a conversation about some really sensitive topics? Is this how we get people talking about what needs to be discussed if they have never had to deal with a situation like this before? Are the producers of the show just trying to make the scenes as gruesome and raunchy as possible just so it stands out from anything else ever created? One repetitive theme that occurs throughout the series that promotes the questions above is what the role of a woman during this time is and during this show. According to Eliana Dockterman from Time, who wrote ‘Game of Thrones’ Woman Problem Is About More Than Sexual Assault’, “Game of Thrones has always stood out from other works of fantasy because of its feminism (Dockterman, 2020, Time) https://time.com/3917236/game-of-thrones-woman-problem-feminism/. The women had to deal with misogyny inherent in a Medieval society, but, forced to the sidelines, they found creative ways to seize power” (Dockterman, 2020, Time) https://time.com/3917236/game-of-thrones-woman-problem-feminism/. Feminism is something that could be confused because it could be what you make of it. I know for myself I have been confused by the word and as a woman I did not know if I wanted to be known as a feminist because of the many different controversies surrounding it. Merriam-Webster dictionary elaborates that feminism is women having the same value and opportunities in everything they are a part of (Merriam-Webster, 2020) https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/feminism. I believe this quote from Dockterman explains the women in the show very well because while these things are happening, such as, violence they find a way to bring about this power from themselves. By saying this, women are not playing traditional roles they are finding a way to persevere and find a strength within themselves to fight for what they want (Dockterman, 2020, Time) https://time.com/3917236/game-of-thrones-woman-problem-feminism/. 

Based off of how women are finding their power in way less than acceptable circumstances we look at the wedding night of Khal Drogo and Daenery’s Targaryen. According to HBO.com, Khal Drogo is “The warrior leader of a vast tribe of horseman in Essos” (HBO.com, 2020) https://www.hbo.com/game-of-thrones/cast-and-crew/khal-drogo. Khal Drogo is seen as this triumphant leader who is worshipped by his people. Also, according to HBO.com, Daenerys Targaryen is, “Princess of House Targaryen, living in exile in Essos with her brother, Viserys” (HBO.com, 2020) https://www.hbo.com/game-of-thrones/cast-and-crew/daenerys-targaryen. Daenerys Targaryen develops into a strong character. From what I can see she is young but has an understanding of wanting to help and be resilient. These two are brought together after Daenerys brother, Viserys gives his sister to Khal Drogo to marry and in return Visery will be given men from Khal Drogo to take over the throne that he believes is his (Georgina Laud, 2020, Express) https://www.express.co.uk/showbiz/tv-radio/1112441/danerys-targaryen-khal-drogo-relationship-game-of-thrones-season-8-violence-rape. Something that is looked at a little more so is how the show writers chose to convey the wedding night scene between Khal Drogo and Daenerys. This scene is what has been brought up as a controversy and is what I will be talking about.

In my opinion, there was actually no right way to portray this scene. The first I saw of this particular scene I was already uncomfortable because of what had happened previously with the character Daenerys. Georgina Laud from Express who wrote, ‘Daenerys Targaryen and Khal Drogo relationships: Inside the problematic romance’, “In Game of Thrones season one, Daenerys’ brother Viserys Targaryen (Harry Lloyd) and merchant prince Illyrio Mopatis (Roger Allam) brokered a deal for Daenerys to be married off to Khal Drogo (Jason Momoa)” (Laud, 2020, Express) https://www.express.co.uk/showbiz/tv-radio/1112441/danerys-targaryen-khal-drogo-relationship-game-of-thrones-season-8-violence-rape. Georgina continues on to say, “Male attitudes towards Daenerys are troublesome from the beginning, with her own brother fondling her under the pretext of seeing how much she has grown” (Laud, 2020, Express) https://www.express.co.uk/showbiz/tv-radio/1112441/danerys-targaryen-khal-drogo-relationship-game-of-thrones-season-8-violence-rape. After seeing this there is already a strong feeling of wanting to protect Daenerys because it seems she has already been taken advantage of. I know for myself you can see how she is just living her life for everyone else and does not really try to fight back when these violent or non-violent attacks happen to her. In the television show, when it is time to consummate the marriage you see Daenerys standing there and Khal Drogo goes up to her and starts to undress her. Very few words are expressed between the two ultimately you see Daenerys crying as she kneels down for them to have sex. The book displays a different perspective to how this was shown. Even though Daenerys is still scared of what is to come you imagine Khal Drogo as being sensual in a way. It is extremely detailed, and, in the end, there is an agreement to have sex between the two characters.

As I said before, I do not believe there was a right way to produce this scene. The way it is presented in the book by George R.R. Martin makes it seem okay that this type of behavior is happening with someone so young but also how after this night occurs their relationship seems to grow stronger. Also, on the other side of that in the tv show since the scene was changed to show a rape, you can see how it was about Daenerys, how it focused on her and what she was going through. Georgina Laud continues to say, “Women more often than not are seen as tools of pleasure – with most of the sexual encounters featuring men taking women from behind whilst she is on her hands and knees. However, Game of Thrones is also a world in which sex is the primary way women can assert their power – and invites the viewer to sympathise with the way they are treated” (Laud, 2020, Express) https://www.express.co.uk/showbiz/tv-radio/1112441/danerys-targaryen-khal-drogo-relationship-game-of-thrones-season-8-violence-rape. Women are clearly treated as objects within the book and the show and I think there are different ways to have reactions and emotions towards the scenes. In a way, it was possible this was the right way to portray the scene possibly because of the age difference. There was no way for Daenerys to consent at the age of 13. This scene after everything else that has happened you also focus more on Daenerys. While the show does not show the act, it shows the pain and suffering she is feeling. According to Eliana Dockterman who wrote, ‘The Game of Thrones Sex Scene Can’t Be Both Rape and Not Rape’, “If a woman or man does not consent to a sexual act, and the other person forces him or her to continue, it’s rape” (Dockterman, 2020, Time) https://time.com/3917236/game-of-thrones-woman-problem-feminism/. In one way it was right to do the scene in this way to show how inappropriate the relationship was and the events that led up to it. On the other hand, it could have been wrong to do the scene in this way because of the events that happened afterward. Daenerys in the tv show learns how to try and pleasure Khal Drogo even though he did not have intentions of doing the same. He was clearly worried about performing the act of sex only so when pleasure is felt during sex all of a sudden this makes the relationship stronger. In the beginning of their relationship in the show, if he took advantage and hurt her how does this make the relationship better. 

Overall, again I believe there was not correct way of portraying this scene. Even though rape is not a positive act, and no one should have to go through something like that the show portrays this in a way that focuses the scene on how Daenerys is dealing with it. The negative aspect to showing this as a rape is how the relationship between Khal Drogo and Daenerys develops overtime. I do believe having these scenes shown in different ways allows a conversation to start about the issue of rape, assault, how men and women view their relationships and what those in the relationship expect.