Was Dany raped?

The creators of the series Game of Thrones made the correct decision to change the consensual sex scene to a rape scene because it is strongly expressed that Daenerys was being sold to Khal Drogo. She is a 13-year-old who feared not only him but the whole situation. If the scene in the film were like the one in the book, readers would easily be thrown for a loop. During the wedding, Dany, with no one to talk to, was forced to smile until her face ached regardless of how uncomfortable she was.

 How does she have consensual sex with a stranger that scares the comfort out of her? With her being so uncomfortable with Khal Drogo, how would she so suddenly be turned on by him touching her without saying anything but “no”. Is it still considered rape in the book considering she is only 13?

In the book, this scene has conflict with later events as it describes Dany wincing in pain from the soars of riding her horse all day and then being bent over when he decided he wanted her. Nothing in that tells the readers that she enjoyed this sex.

How does she go from saying “yes” to him the very first time to having painful sex shortly after and later in the relationship? Shouldn’t the sex get better as the relationship continues?  

On the very next page, the book stated that at night Drogo would go into Dany’s tent “to ride her as relentlessly as he rode his stallion” while she It also clashes with Dany’s encounter with Doreah and the first time she decided to look Drogo in his face during sex. Her looking him in the face during sex is Dany’s way of taking control and establishing the intimacy of their now lifelong relationship. The sex previously had -to be forceful with her always bent over whenever he is ready with no control of not just the sex but her body as well.

Daenerys’s evolution may seem misogynistic, but in many ways are feminist. After being sold by her brother into what seemed to be the most uncomfortable relationship she could ever encounter, she could have easily settled for being a sex doll. Instead she used what Drogo wanted from her most to build what she wanted in this marriage. Her growth portrayed her strength; being raped not only physically but mentally rips a woman apart. With her being so young she didn’t let it break her down and feel less than what she was worth.

To make this moment rape, helps show the growth in their relationship. She goes from being raped several times to having this breaking point where she feels like she has no choice but to begin to like it. Once she takes control of herself, she then can develop feelings for Drogo.

Kelly Rheon and Nishit Kumar both argue that Drogo raped Dany in both the book and the show. They agree that she is only 14 unable to give consent for sex considering she is forced into the relationship and fear to upset Drogo; and that it was marital rape. I would fully agree with each argument but, GoT is taken place in the medieval times where age does not matter. Obviously shown, women were sold for marriage as soon as they hit their teenage years so the argument that she was too young to give consent is not valid. In this era, there was no rule stating that a female had to be a certain age in order to have consensual sex.

Houseofthedirewolves makes an interesting argument that readers are misguidedly characterizing Dany as fearful of Drogo. Overall, they are arguing that Dany is an abused child and is more afraid of the image that Viserys has planted into her head about Drogo. Therefore, stating that the night of the wedding, in the book, Dany is viewing Drogo from her own perspective behind closed doors; giving her full consent to the man she thought she was afraid of. While this is a clever argument, there are still many grey areas about the future sex scenes between the two.

Why is their sex painful for her in future if she was completely consensual to having sex with Drogo for the first time? When did she begin to look at Drogo through her own eyes in order to give consent because the entire time he touched and undressed her she told him “no.” She only says yes once, at the end of the chapter, and it doesn’t even make sense considering her discomfort during four play.  

As argued by many different people, if she was abused and scared into “pleasing Khal Drogo” then her consent is not valid. Regardless of her age, it does not make sense for the book to have a consensual sex scene and on the next page describe the brutality of their sex in different occasions.

I must agree with a credible source where the author expresses that Dany indeed was raped in the book because her consent was not depended on for him to have sex with her. While he undressed and touched on her she kept telling him “no”, but her consent was irrelevant to him. The author emphasizes the beginning of Dany’s marriage life; Drogo rode beside her and ignored her just as he did at their wedding. He spent his evenings drinking with the warriors and blood riders and afterwards would go to Dany’s tent and “take her from behind”. The repetitiveness of this lifestyle is demanding and obviously took a toll on Daenerys as she contemplated suicide.

The tv series allows the storyline to play out in the favor of Dany by making the se scene rape for the growth of her character. Instead of allowing the weaknesses of being a woman make her life’s decision she took it upon herself to begin engaging in the sex for the experience to be pleasing to both of them. However, people focus more on how she overcame the situation than how she felt during that period in her life. What she went through to end up having to force sexual pleasure into her marriage. Would that not be degrading for a woman? Knowing you really didn’t want to have sex with him to begin with. Kathryn Lindsay argues that Dany was sold into a marriage and raped nightly before her and Drogo ever learned the same language. The mental strength of the medieval ages must have been immaculate for Dany mentally survive a brutal lifestyle as that. Dealing with the anticipation of his arrival every night and not having anything you could do about it. What if there were still some nights during their consensual sex, she had flashbacks of the pain from the rape. One thing being overlooked is just because they eventually fell in love doesn’t negate the trauma she endured at the start. The author makes the transition seem so sudden but in reality, how long does it take to physically and mentally strengthen yourself to pretty much flip the script. This is rape we are discussing. Would you be able to fall in love and have sex with an individual who has raped you on multiple occasions?

Supporting this statement, it shouldn’t matter how Dany drew herself closer to Drogo because her feelings matter too. If it saved her from killing herself because she didn’t feel worth anything then there are no boundaries to what needs to be done.

In conclusion, the book sends mixed signals by making the wedding night consensual sex. The tv series perfectly portrays what Dany might have been feeling, her discomfort was obvious. She is by far one of the strongest characters in this book to come from an abusive brother immediately into an abusive relationship. Her growth throughout the beginning of the marriage is unfortunately underrated.