The Sad Truth of Society's View of Femininity

Sansa Stark pissed me off one too many times at the beginning of Game of Thrones. In my eyes, she originally appeared weak and disloyal. I have to admit that I hated Sansa at first. I seriously couldn’t stand her. I mean what kind of older sister doesn’t stick up for her sibling? Sansa comes off as a naïve and selfish little girl who is completely unrealistic and indulges in the fantasies of a princess. 

            These initial observations could not be more incorrect. As the series continues, you can see how Sansa Stark actually utilizes her femininity as a weapon and tool for to stay alive. Even though the entire world around her starts to crumble, Sansa survives. 

After diving deeper into her story and character development, I have begun to admire her. I would not describe myself as very feminine, and I relate to Arya over Sansa on almost every level. I love Arya. Yes, she is a badass. Yes, she is fearless and brave. But Sansa is too. There is no justifiable reason for the audience to continue to hate Sansa Stark so intensely. 

Sansa Stark is definitely perceived as one of the most hated characters in the seriesGame of Thrones. In the early pages/episodes I believe the audience has an ethical reason to dislike Sansa. Her decisions were based on the actions and emotions of a young girl. It is so easy to forget the age of Sansa, which I find myself doing all the time. At the beginning of our readings and the early episodes of the show, Sansa possesses the qualities of a traditional women. By this I mean that she isn’t shown shooting a bow and arrow or trying to pick up a sword, but instead she embraces the roles of understanding her place under male leadership. Her septa teaches her how to write, sow, cook, keep herself well-kept and groomed and many other things that are defined as “feminine.” Sansa Stark has grown up in a world where women are told that their job is to marry and provide kids for the men. They will cook, clean, and take care of the kids. The men will fight. Her entire life, Sansa has been told that she will marry a prince and live happily ever after. She is a hopeful 11 year old who believes in true love. Sansa is also largely influenced by her family and their adherence to honor. Emily Hannemann suggests that Sansa was sheltered from the many evils of the world because of her tender upbringing. Sansa was a beautiful and rich young girl. Her family continually told her that she was

gorgeous and that she was going to marry a prince one day. So of course that is what she believed. As soon as she first sees Prince Joffrey she starts imagining her perfect life with him and it is all she claims she wants in the world. Due to her sheltered upbringing, she is not initially prepared for the horrors of human nature that she will be revealed to. All of Sansa’s ideologies at that age were based off of the teachings of the people closest to her. 

Sansa was raised to abide by her society’s view of gender-roles. Instead of challenging these roles like her sister Arya, she embraces her feminine characteristics. And there is nothing wrong with that. 

That’s the problem with society’s view on Sansa Starks character. I feel as if their hate is more rooted in the fact that she does not embody the masculine qualities that Arya does. They hate her because of her femininity. 

 This statement is further supported as Sansa falls under Joffrey’s violent reign of control. Joffrey is a literal psychopath. The only thing that he loves is torture. The boy has no heart and an obsessive need for control. Sansa is put through severe emotional and physical damage as she is trapped under him, but still the audience hates Sansa more than Joffrey. How messed up. The audience seriously routes for a deranged Joffrey over Sansa.  

Why? It is because they do not value her qualities. 

 This is quite ironic though, because it is these qualities that keep her alive. It is only through the use of her femininity that she not only survives, but saves other people. Sansa skillfully manipulates Joffrey into sparing Ser Dantos in season two. Instead of drowning him with a barrel of wine, Sansa convinces Joffrey that he would find more pleasure in making Ser Dantos his fool. Sansa studies the people around her and uses her knowledge to not only keep herself alive, but others too. 

Arya Stark plays an entirely different role in Game of Thrones.

I believe that George R.R. Martin crafted the two characters of Arya and Sansa in a way that exposes how society does not value femininity. Contrasting the two, Arya uses masculinity to survive and live. She uses weapons, she trains, and she finds ways to combat male leadership to survive. Sansa is the opposite. She uses her brains and her compassionate to stay alive. Instead of being bold and acting on impulse, Sansa decides to stay quiet multiple times throughout the series. This is what saves her life! Julianne Ross points out that in order to survive, “Arya disguises herself as a boy and Sansa cloaks herself in the mask of proper lady-hood.”This is a perfect example of the extreme differences in Arya and Sansa. The audience admires Arya for fighting to stay alive, but Sansa does the same thing throughout the entire series. Sansa is constantly surviving, but she is doing it by utilizing her feminine strengths. This drastic difference in qualities that these sisters possess was created on purpose. George R.R. Martin intentionally made Arya and Sansa so different. It significantly shows how society hates the feminine aspects of Sansa. 

No one can deny that the audience loves Arya. But do they really love her? Or do they love her representation of masculine characteristics?

Arya is a “strong female character.” Societies view of a strong female character is basically a woman who has all of the normative qualities of a male. It is a woman who wants to possess the gender-roles of a man. I love Arya. Everyone does. There is no doubt that she is bold and brave. The audience loves how she defies all of the normal female gender roles. But they also love to hate Sansa even more because she does not defy them. Instead she embraces them. S.E. Smith explains that Sansa is not the typical strong female character because she uses her mind and manipulation, and she uses passivity instead of force. This should not make her weak! Smith continues to claim that 

Sansa Stark represents a character who is strong because she uses her resources and compliance to survive and has the strength to not fight back. PREACH! Sansa is the one character that endures so much torture and misfortune but continues to survive. Not by fighting. Not by killing

people. But because she is strong. I can’t help but to find myself routing for Sansa Stark. In some ways she is the female underdog. She is constantly overlooked and hated for her simple and “girly” characteristics. The audience frequently criticizes Sansa for her silence, but her silence is actually brave. Sansa’s silence is strategic. She uses this to manipulate, destroy, or get away from her enemies. There is no need for her to grab a sword and kill them. 

Sansa saves herself and others because she smart.

Because she is a realist.

Because she is empathetic. 

Because she is brave. 

Because she is feminine. 

This femininity is not only undervalued in the Game of Thrones, but also in our society today. This is why Sansa Stark generates a reaction of so much hate and disapproval. Sad, right?