Game of Thrones, Why Are You Making Me Root for a Rapist???
Game
of Thrones, why are you making me root for a
rapist???
The
storyline of Daenerys and Khal Drogo has been, to me, one of the most
compelling and complicated stories thus far Game of Thrones. Since I
have only recently became a fan of the series, it is hard for me to so strongly
identify with a lot of the characters and stories thus far, however, Dany’s has
been one that I find myself the most invested in. At first, I saw Daenerys as
timid, defenseless, and not having a voice of her own, since Viserys did most
of her speaking and decision making for her. At the end of her relationship
with Drogo, Dany has made a complete transformation. She is strong and powerful
and she damn well knows it.
Is this transformation due in part to Khal Drogo?
If so, how can I be so happy for Dany that she has developed into a strong female
character once I remember the circumstance of her marriage to Drogo in the
first place? When Drogo is on his death bed, why is it that I feel sad that
Dany is losing her “sun-and-stars” instead of ecstatic that she is free from
someone who has basically married her as a political arrangement? My emotions
are all over the place when I read or watch anything that Daenerys does
throughout the show because I love how much of a badass woman she is, but at
the same time I am not quite sure if her power comes from within herself or
from Khal Drogo and the security he brings her. One thing is for sure though,
Daenerys Stormborn is no quitter, and has a whole lot of fight in her that
carries her through some extremely difficult times we see her experience.
The
choice to display Dany and Drogo’s wedding night as rape in the tv show instead
of consensual sex that is displayed in the book is a smart one, especially when
we remember that Daenerys is sold into this marriage against her will. It is
evident that their marriage can never be consensual, therefore, any sex between
them will never be consensual. However, in the weeks after Dany and Drogo’s
wedding night, Dany falls deeply in love with the Khal. Surely, the creators of
the show didn’t want to give validity to the statement that victims eventually
fall in love with their rapists, right? The
TV show told the true, grim, and dark story of how wedding nights tend to end
for the unfortunate child that was sold into marriage. They end with rape.
Dany and Drogo’s wedding night is a historically accurate wedding for that time
period, which causes more discussion when we see their relationship develop
from the first time they met.
Why
is it that Daenerys and Khal Drogo ended up in such a better place when Drogo
dies than most other women who were sold into marriage? I feel that Dany asking
her handmaidens how to satisfy and gain some power over the Khal is the first
step in her realizing that she has the power to optimize the situation she is
in, regardless of how she got there in the first place. She uses her sexuality
to gain power and get what she wants, which is not a foreign concept to the
other female characters in the series. We see characters like Cersi and
Margaery use their sexuality as a bargaining tool, to gain political power, or
to better a situation for themselves. Dany is doing nothing different, just
within the confines of her own marriage.
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Instead
of accepting her fate and being the scared, shy girl controlled by her
disgusting brother, she makes the conscious effort to immerse herself in the
Dothraki culture so that she can be more respected by the Khal. Once Dany has
more control of their marriage, she finds Drogo supporting her decisions,
treating her as an actual human being instead of a piece of meat, and
respecting her demands. Now, if I was sold into a marriage and terrified of my
husband, this evolution sounds like the best possible outcome. And I think Dany
recognizes that. She realizes that if she takes control of her situation, she
can be in a position of power, but more importantly, security. Khal Drogo makes
Dany feel safe, and I think that in this culture, especially given her history,
Daenerys values that way more than any perfect love story that could have come
from her arrangement.
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Another
interesting aspect of Daenerys’ overnight journey to become the Khaleesi is the
death of Viserys. She
was finally free of her crap brother, who probably would have treated her worse
than Drogo did if he were to marry her. The only male presence Dany grew up
with was Viserys, who was extremely abusive and controlling.
Dany’s sexuality could never be used as a tool to leverage power in the eyes of
Viserys, and no matter what, he would always see her as less than himself. Even
when she was first trying to accept her role as the the Khaleesi and do what
VISERYS FORCED HER TO DO IN THE FIRST PLACE BY MARRYING THIS BARBARIAN, he
still has the audacity to boss her around and try to silence her. Viserys was
honestly a huge prick, and I was so happy when Drogo was finally done with his
BS and offed him. A line from this article from wordpress.com says it
perfectly: Viserys is
seen in chapter 46 drawing a sword and threatening Daenerys’ unborn
child…however, our little Daenerys is all woman-ed up now and she watches from
the sidelines as Drogo gives his brother-in-law a golden crown by pouring a pot
of molten gold over his vile little head. The end to all ends in sibling
rivalry…
Following this, I am a big Daenerys fan
and ship her and Drogo 1000000000 %, and just wish the badass King and Queen
could ride into the sunset together.
But wait…
HE RAPED HER ON THEIR WEDDING NIGHT!
HOW CAN I SHIP THAT??!!!??!
UUUGGGGGGHHHHHH
Honestly,
when I read or watch Game of Thrones and see how badly all of these
women get treated, I am proud of Dany and how she overcame a situation that
sadly happens so often in her culture. She is one of, if not the only female
character who has taken a seemingly doomed situation and come out on the other
side stronger than ever. George R.R. Martin does a fantastic job of turning
Drogo and Dany into a couple fans can root for, which is crazy to think about
considering the circumstances of their marriage. But here I am as I type this,
crying that once things finally started to work out in Dany’s favor, Drogo is
dead and the Khal and his Khaleesi can’t have their happily ever after. I mean,
who in their right mind would root for a rapist? Me, apparently, the answer is
me. And it’s Game of Thrones’s fault.
Hailey,
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with everything you said in your post. When we first started watching the scenes between Sansa and Khal Drogo take place, I was not happy with how their relationship was portrayed because she was considered property and was basically sold into her marriage, but the more we got to see their relationship grow into what looks like an actual relationship I definitely started to want them to be together and sort of forgot the fact that she was raped on her wedding night and did not agree to be married to the Khal. I definitely agree that the creators of the show made us viewers grow to love Dany and the Khal’s relationship, and that it is in fact the Game of Throne’s fault for making us root for a rapist.
I relate to this so hard. I hate that I like Drogo because he did rape her a numerous amount of times. I loved their relationship and hated when Drogo died. I loved when you started bashing Viserys because gosh I cannot stand that man. He was too whiney. I totally agree that Dany could have really loved Dany for the safety she felt with him. And that Dany got all her courage from being with Drogo. I mean who wouldn’t start to feel and act that way when you’re with a man like Drogo? But I mean I loved who she became but wish it came from somewhere else other than rape as you said.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the points that you make in this, especially about the fact that Dany's only male figure that she had in her life was Viserys, and he is obviously someone that everyone was excited to see "crowned" and die. I think it is a harsh reality that we root for someone who committed rape, especially in this day-and-age and being female nonetheless. I stand with you in your decision to root for the Khal and Khaleesi because we finally see a power couple who fall in love (ya know, after all of the rape and everything that happened in the show). My point in all of this is the fact that Game of Thrones takes place in a much different time period than what we are living in now and so this seems to be a typical things that happens in their world, but even though we don't agree with the rape, I believe that it goes to show how powerful Dany really is because in the end, this sets her up for creating the army that she needs, so going through the pain in the beginning has really had a big hand in making her so much more amazing now.
ReplyDeleteMetz!! Why was I so upset when the Khal died too? I felt so bad for Dany, when in reality she is finally free of her abuser. How the heck did George R.R. Martin almost make us forget that Drogo literally raped and assaulted his future lover. As the series continued, I found myself routing for them and actually thinking they were cute. Then I would have to remember that they were literally arranged to be married, and Dany is raped. Young Dany is continuously forced to have sex with Drogo. Ew. What. I cannot think this relationship is semi-cute, right? I also completely agree with your point about how Dany turned a dooming event in her life into something that gives her power. Instead of letting her rape defeat her, Dany uses it to gain strength. To gain power. To gain respect. To gain followers. And then to quite literally birth dragons.
ReplyDeleteIn relation to this post and these comments, I hated Droggo at the beginning of his existence as well. The night of the wedding was obviously rape, and Danny didn't want anything to do with it. However as time goes on, they do start to find love for each other. When Droggo, and even the baby of Droggo dies, I was very upset, because i would have liked to see what the filmmakers did with that.
ReplyDeleteIt is strange too when I first watched the show I surprised at how my opinion of khal Drogo changed over the course of the first season and it really interesting how our opinions of characters can change.
ReplyDelete